When you doubt yourself…


A story is told about a young Jewish man named Yeshua, who in the beginning year of his ministry, returned to the city of his origin at a time when Rome was the center of the world.  He went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day and was handed the scroll to read.  The scripture was from the prophecy of Isaiah. This is what he read:

 ” The Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to proclaim the Good News.” 

Then he sat down with the eyes of the worshippers upon him.


Stunned silence prevailed.  His mother and father had begged him to tone down his zealous rhetoric or it would get them all killed.  His followers, many of whom were with him on that day had urged caution.  Some were concerned that he was revealing himself too soon – others worried about the political ramifications of his words.

The young man said to those in attendance,  “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”


He had just received a message from home.  The message said, in effect, “This, then is your job.  Don’t think.  Don’t ask questions.  Don’t worry.  Go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200″.

Did the man known as Yeshua – Jesus – ever doubt himself and his mission?  Of course he did,  and so have you.  And so have I.  Many times in the past three years when times have been hard I have agonized over my chosen profession.  “If this is what you want me to do, God”, I ask.  “Then why have you made it so everlasting hard?”

But recently, in the face of what I thought was a crushing blow, I have learned to sit down and let the silence prevail.  Because that is when God speaks.  We are not told that our mission will be easy or profitable or appreciated.  Even when we are unequivocally and absolutely RIGHT we are not assured that we will be listened to or followed or applauded.  We are only told “this, then is your job.”


If you are doubting yourself or your mission, your talent or your calling remember this:


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