guest blogger Larry T. Crocodile
I love kids…
Kidding! I love kids, they’re my bread and butter… except crocodiles don’t eat bread and butter. Unless it’s inside a kid… kidding!
This is the view I see every time I’m on stage with my human, Nancy Burks Worcester. Lots of smiles, a little bit of enchantment and once in awhile sheer befuddlement.
I’ve been at this a long time now – if you’ve seen the new Muppets movie, you know that we fleece folk (or Mannequin-Americans if you prefer) age very well. Very, very well. Pictures of my human and me show that while I look exactly the same, she is beginning to look like a walnut with hair. Kidding!
I have been reading recently that the Muppets have now been accused of communism by Eric Bolling. I could put a link to him there but I won’t because it’s stupid. A felt scare? Come on! Fleece folk are apolitical. So in the hope that future misunderstandings can be avoided, I am making available for the first time ever the…
Fleece Folk Code of Honor
- No politics. Jeff Dunham broke the code when he created Achmed, so his fleece friends are now considered human. This is not an honor people, not an honor
- No cursing. See above
- No evil intent. I guess it depends on what you consider evil, but I personally feel like we Mannequin Americans have a mandate to make the earth a little kinder. Just in case you are confused, chicken jokes and whoopee cushions are NOT evil.
- Do not eat anyone in the audience. I do not personally agree with this one, and strain at the bit every single day.
- No wearing pants. I know some rules are made to be broken, but Fozzy Bear and I are still holding fast to the true spirit of fleecedom while Kermit has sold out.
So there you have it. I know the Muppets are not communists because Miss Piggy and I have been well… friends for years now. This relationship has flown under the radar from years, but for the first time I am sharing the absolutely unretouched photo of Miss Piggy and me at the opening to “Muppets in Space“.
And don’t we still look good?